The Traits We’ve Gained Because of our Children

December 2020 | Question of the Month
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girl in red coat

This has definitely been one of my all-time favorite questions—the beautiful and relatable answers I received in return were such an honor to read! 

Witnessing Kimball’s struggle with his body—and keeping him alive and well—has been the hardest thing I’ve experienced. It’s pushed me past my breaking point many times and I’ve never felt so weak. Especially in the first year and a half of his life, it was all I could do to hang on and survive. The learning curve was cruel. And yet, to my surprise, I’ve been able to look back and see the beauty it’s brought to our lives. As many other parents have experienced, I also feel an inner strength like none other. The resilience I feel in knowing I can survive truly agonizing events is empowering. And my love has expanded beyond what it ever was previous to Kimball’s arrival. While I would never ask for this monumental burden on Kimball, my family, and me, I can’t help but feel gratitude for who I am today because of it.

A huge thank you for all those who contributed to this beautiful tribute to the growth we can experience in the most difficult of challenges. They resonated with me so.

"It's a lot easier for me to call people out on BS! 😂"

—@hey.itslyss

"I've gained so much strength because of how strong and brave she is."

—@shortandsweet.pnw

"Being grateful for the little things! (Like her being able to eat mac and cheese)."

—@victoria_rose1995

"Learning how to better speak up and advocate for my child."

—@laurenofcolorado

"Perspective."

—@katiebpeterson

"The ability to advocate."

—@singsavana

"Empathy."

—@adevereux55

"Gratefulness for many things, but especially for the better modern medical technology."

—@thegarg_family

"Patience, so much patience. I never take anything for granted."

—@makaylers96

"Patience with myself."

—@leahminjung

"Perspective."

—@elisabeths_way

"The ability to be silly and carefree! My girls woke up something in me that I cherish."

—@ellensueschwartz

"Confidence in self-advocacy."

—@sunflowers_sea

"Resilience."

—@stronglikestella

"It's made me more kind. I feel so understanding and less judgemental."

—@loeyjessica_

"Advocate!"

—@basshottie22

"Patience and resilience!" 

—@hustleheartandhospitals

"I've become more extroverted—I've had to in order to advocate for her."

—@little_ivy_sunshine

"I've recognized that control is artificial—It's made me loosen up and be more optimistic."

—@ubuwhaaaaaa

"Acceptance of my emotions, no matter what they are."

—@joyfulblondie

"Bravery."

—@debnielsen7387

"Strength."

—@chargeonwardsandupwards

"Patience.

I'm still learning it though! I have 6 kids ranging from ages 17 to 2. The three oldest I have shared parenting of. The three youngest all have different things going on. My 5-year-old carries the gene for CF and has apraxia. My 4-year-old has SPD and ADHD. My 2-year-old has NF1. Some days are so hard but I keep thinking how hard it is for them and try my best to be sure to have patience."

—Jenn B.

"Patience and a new level of love."

—Rosa B.

"Assertiveness and my voice."

—Emily Y.

"Empathy."

—Dawn A.

"I’ve learned I can do hard things. That being brave doesn't mean you aren't scared. Also, getting angry isn’t bad as long as you use tact, and the anger as a force to change things."

—Tammy M.

"Observation and patience."

—Hannah P.

"Perspective: don't sweat the small stuff."

—Sophia A.

"True unconditional love! When we were praying that God would give us a child, I prayed for a perfect, healthy baby and I heard a voice ask, "Why are you putting conditions on love? I don't." Talk about a humbling moment. I asked forgiveness and promised to love this baby unconditionally no matter the outcome, and now I truly know what unconditional love is!!! His my beautiful amazing bundle of joy, Elliot!"

—Kimberly C.

"Strength. Seeing him being born at 26 weeks as a female later to find out he’s a male. Cardiac arrest, CP, coats disease, and now he has cancer. The strength he shows is beyond anything I’ve ever seen!" 

—Rheah B.

"Radical acceptance."

—Carley C.

"Because of Chloe, I have found myself on a path of advocacy. Without her, I wouldn’t have ever been doing the work I am. She’s blessed me with finding my worth outside of simply being a mom."

—Melissa H.